


Service Dogs for Superheroes (SDfSH): Meeting Deadpool

by literally_no_idea



Series: Service Dogs for Superheroes (SDfSH) Main Series [25]
Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Amputation, Dissociation, Dissociative Amnesia, Don't copy to another site, Echolalia, Gen, Non-Graphic Violence, SDfSH 'verse, Schizophrenia, Schizophrenic Wade Wilson
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-27
Updated: 2019-03-27
Packaged: 2019-12-25 13:17:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,645
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18262079
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/literally_no_idea/pseuds/literally_no_idea
Summary: Peter was pretty sure he’d met just about every other superhero or vigilante in the New York City area, but as it turned out, he was wrong. He discovered this while on patrol one day, when he heard gunshots and a “Boo-yah, motherfucker! That’s right, don’t mess with me! Woo!” Peter swung his way in the direction of the shouting until he found himself looking down at a dude in a suit surprisingly similar to his own, minus the blue and white and the spider design. Okay, so a red suit. Whatever.





	Service Dogs for Superheroes (SDfSH): Meeting Deadpool

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome back to the series, or if you're new here, welcome! This part of the series introduces Deadpool. There's a scene of very brief, non-graphic violence that involves the first two tags of this work. It shouldn't be triggering? But I could be wrong. With that said, enjoy!

Peter was pretty sure he’d met just about every other superhero or vigilante in the New York City area, but as it turned out, he was wrong. He discovered this while on patrol one day, when he heard gunshots and a “Boo-yah, motherfucker! That’s right, don’t mess with me! Woo!” Peter swung his way in the direction of the shouting until he found himself looking down at a dude in a suit surprisingly similar to his own, minus the blue and white and the spider design. Okay, so a red suit. Whatever.

 

“Hey, you can’t just kill people because you feel like it! Are you trying to give us a bad rep? Who even was that dude?” he calls, landing a few feet away from the guy, who turns to face him.

 

“Uh, he was a bad guy, obviously! He had it coming. Who are you? And why do you kinda look like Mini Me?” the guy says, stepping forward and crouching down to look at Peter. “Huh. Are you the spider… man? You don’t look like a man. Kid, more like. Is that you?”

 

Peter steps back, glaring in a way he hopes is still conveyed through the mask. “Spider-Man, yeah, that’s me. Who are you?”

 

The guy bows dramatically. “Your friendly neighborhood Deadpool, at your service.”

 

Peter’s not sure if he hates him or finds him kind of cool. He’ll roll with hate for now, because…

 

“Why are you killing people though! Non-lethal force is fine? It works great? Jails are a thing? I mean, what the fuck, dude?”

 

Deadpool tilts his head to the side. “Huh. Didn’t think about that. Good point though. Anyway, see ya!” Deadpool starts to walk away, so Peter webs his hand to the wall before he can leave.

 

“Whoa whoa whoa, hold on! Can we maybe talk for a minute?”

 

Deadpool looks at the web on his hand. “That’s impressive, but sorry kid, I’m busy.” He pulls one of the swords off of his back and  _ cuts his own hand off _ .

 

“Dude! What are you doing! Are you insane?” Peter shouts, and the guy laughs.

 

“Yes, probably, but it’ll grow back, chill out.” Peter grabs the guy before he can keep walking away.

 

“No, seriously, okay, now I’m concerned. Are you okay? Is this normal for you? Because I’m pretty sure just shooting people a bunch and then cutting your own hand off is not normal at all, and like that’s maybe something you should talk to someone about? Like I’m just saying?”

 

Deadpool stops, turning to face Peter and pulling his mask off. Peter recoils a little, because okay, he hadn’t expected the guy to look like that. “Listen, kid, I’m really, really fucked up, and you’d be better off walking away. You patrol, what, in Queens? I’ll stick to Brooklyn from now on. Sound fair?”

 

Peter shakes his head. “No, not fair, because you probably need help. I know some people, you could actually get more support and stuff, so--”

 

“Stop! Seriously, kid, stop it. I had a support. I had my girlfriend, and she died because of me. No one else is going to die around me unless I’m the one who kills them. So go away. Just fucking leave. Pretend this never happened, I’ll stay out of Queens, and everything will be the way it used to be.” Deadpool pulls out of his grip, storming off and leaving Peter standing in the alley, hand still outstretched. He’s not sure what to do with that information, so he just goes home, but he can’t get the guy’s words out of his head.

 

* * *

 

As it turns out, he runs into Deadpool again two weeks later, in a different part of Queens. Deadpool is walking down the sidewalk whistling Vivaldi, and Peter’s confused, because this definitely doesn’t seem like the same guy from before. He lands in an alley a few blocks ahead of Deadpool and waits until he hears the whistling come closer. “Psst!” He hisses, and the whistling stops as Deadpool rounds the corner, coming down the alley. 

 

“Hi! It’s… Spider-Man? Right? Yeah! I’ve seen you in the news.”

 

Peter frowns. “We met, a couple weeks ago. Do you not remember? You said you would stay out of Queens?”

 

“Oh! Right! Yeah, sorry, I forgot about that. Anyway, how are you?” Deadpool turns to look at the air a few feet away from Peter. “Don’t say that, he’s right in front of us, and that’s rude!” He turns back to Peter. “Sorry, did you answer? I might have missed it.”

 

Peter’s really confused. “Uh, I’m doing good? How are you?”

 

“Doing good! I was just about to go get some food. Chimichangas, preferably. Or, actually enchiladas, but I like the way ‘chimichangas’ sounds. Chimichangas. Yeah. Are you hungry? Food? You’re young, right? Probably need lots of food if you’re still growing. Come on, I’ll buy, let’s go!”

 

Deadpool starts walking away, whistling again, and Peter’s really not sure what to do, so he just follows him, because he has to admit, he is kind of hungry. It’s one of the drawbacks of the spider DNA, he’s always hungry, but he hasn’t been willing to ask Aunt May to buy more food, because she’s already working so many overtime shifts as it is, and he doesn’t want to ask Mr. Stark, because that would just be awkward. So food sounds good.

 

Deadpool leads them to a small food stand a few blocks further down, waiting in line, and Peter shifts uncomfortably beside them as people start to stare. He wants to leave, but he’s also really not sure what the proper etiquette is in this situation because this is so unbelievably weird, so he just waits, assuming this must just be normal for Deadpool to do. Hopefully. He’s so confused.

 

“Four enchiladas, two chimichangas, and two cokes, please,” Deadpool says when they get to the front of the line, then pays and steps over to the side. “I assumed you probably like the same kind of thing as I do. You seem like you would. Plus, what I just ordered is amazing, so I’m sure you’ll like it no matter what.”

 

“Uh, sure, okay.” Peter’s met some weird and confusing people in the past, and people usually tell him that he’s weird, confusing, and overwhelming himself, but this guy has him beat. Peter doesn’t have the slightest clue who this guy is or what he’s like. His entire personality seems to change every few minutes, and it’s incredibly distracting.

 

“Oh! Hey, I never even gave you my actual name. Did you want that? Is that important to share? Probably. So, my name’s Wade, nice to meet you officially kinda,” Deadpool says, holding out his hand. Peter takes it.

 

“Peter. Nice to meet you?” He’s saved from having to come up with something else to say when their number is called.

 

“Ooh, food! Come on, this shit is the best. There’s an alley nearby that I usually eat in, keeps people from being weird and staring and shit, and it prevents people from bugging you while you eat.” Wade grabs the food, leading Peter down the nearest alley and plopping himself on the ground. “Alright, here we go. Drink for you, half the food for you, shitty plastic fork, and napkins, because grease is a bitch to get out of these suits, am I right?”

 

Wade pulls off his mask and starts eating his half of the food, so Peter crouches down across from him, letting the top part of his suit fold down to his neck so he can eat. Wade watches it happen, wide eyed. “Whoa, okay, that’s way cooler than my suit. Can I have one of those? Where did you even get that? I want one.”

 

Peter shrugs. “Like I said last time we met, I know some people. People that could totally be a good support system, by the way. They’re, like, awesome. Seriously. I think you’d like them.”

 

“Nuh-uh, nope, we talked about this, kid, I don’t care who they are, I’m not putting them in danger. Besides, I usually don’t do well with all those ‘lawful good’ hero types. I’m more ‘chaotic neutral,’ at best.”

 

Peter laughs. “Oh, dude, no, they’re not all lawful good. I’d say a few of them are in the ‘lawful evil’ range, actually, but most of them are like, ‘chaotic good,’ probably.”

 

Wade gives Peter a look. “Really? Okay, maybe I’d be fine around them then. But still. Not doing it, so give it up, Charlotte’s Web.”

 

Peter raises his hands in mock surrender, then goes back to eating his food. Maybe Wade doesn’t want to talk about it, but Peter’s pretty sure he can figure this out easily enough. He happens to have a former international spy in the family.

 

* * *

 

 

Peter texts Ms. Romanoff later that evening, giving her a brief description of everything he knows about Wade and asking for her help figuring out what the guy’s deal is. Ms. Romanoff texts back two hours later asking how Peter met Wade. Huh. So apparently Wade’s important for some reason? Or maybe not safe for Peter to be around?

 

Peter texts back the story. He bounces his leg while he waits for the reply, and Araneus wanders over, putting his head in Peter’s lap. Peter stops bouncing his leg and slides down to sit on the floor, Araneus climbing all the way into his lap, a warm, comforting weight. Ms. Romanoff texts back 37 minutes later, not that Peter was counting, telling him to try and avoid the guy for now. He sends her a thumbs up emoji and taps Araneus gently behind the ear so the dog stands up, letting Peter walk over and climb into bed. He can worry about this in the morning, he’s too tired for this right now.

**Author's Note:**

> Not service dog facts this time, but some explanation about Wade's behavior instead:
> 
> -Wade does NOT have Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID). What you see in this story is a combination of schizophrenia and dissociative amnesia symptoms. The dissociative amnesia is why he doesn't remember meeting Peter, but the schizophrenia is why he is talking seemingly to no one when he meets Peter for the second time. I honestly feel like I have to clarify this because the amount of people that confuse schizophrenia with dissociative identity disorder is baffling to me.
> 
> -However, having said that, I'm not going to judge someone who confuses the two unless they're being willfully ignorant (as in, someone tries to explain the difference to them and they choose not to learn the difference). If you have questions, this is something I'm willing to discuss with people, or at the very least direct you to other people who can explain better than I might be able to.
> 
> -While we're on the topic, I do want to make a few quick notes about dissociative identity disorder (DID). DID used to be known as "multiple personality disorder" (MPD), but was changed to DID when it was determined that the cause of the disorder was dissociative in nature, and also to more clearly distinguish DID from personality disorders, because DID is not a personality disorder.
> 
> -There are other diagnoses besides DID that can result in a system of multiple personalities/alters/etc (the preferred term varies depending on who you talk to, but I'm going to stick with "system" and "alters" in this explanation, because that's what is generally used and preferred). Other Specified Dissociative Disorder (OSDD) 1a and 1b are both diagnoses that involve systems.
> 
> -In DID, the system has two or more distinct alters, as well as amnesia. In OSDD-1a, the alters are less distinct, but amnesia is present. In OSDD-1b, alters are distinct, but there is no amnesia. All three diagnoses are still caused by significant trauma in early childhood, even if symptoms aren't noticeable until later in life.
> 
> With all that said, if you want to see other drabbles or notes related to this series or want to talk to me about the series or anything else, you can find me on tumblr [ here ](https://servicedogsforsuperheroes.tumblr.com)
> 
> As always, thank you for reading!!


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